The Adventures of Andresín: Breakfasts

The Adventures of Andresín BREAKFASTS

It was Monday, and it had dawned cloudy. "We're off to a great start this week," thought Don Antonio. He took two sips of coffee and headed towards the town hall. To make matters worse, Monday was going to take another turn for the worse, because the first thing he'd find was Andresín taking attendance, as he did every morning. "What a nuisance," he muttered.

What he found most unbearable, what infuriated him to no end, and what he had to hide—which annoyed him even more—was that as he passed by the boy, he was going to ask him his name and job title at the town hall. "As if I didn't already know!" Don Antonio thought. "Everyone knows who I am, and besides, I was the one who gave him the job.".

It was clear that for some time now, Mondays hadn't been his favorite day of the week. Luckily, as the week progressed, he grew accustomed to that inquisitive, boisterous voice and relaxed as the days went by. Perhaps it was because the weekend was approaching again, its reward being two whole days without Tomasa's son in sight.

He turned the last corner to face the town hall and there was his gluttonous nightmare taking attendance in his ring binder.

"Whew!" he exhaled, took a breath, and approached the boy. "Good morning, Andr," he said, but before he could finish the greeting, he asked, as if firing a machine gun:

-Name and job title – and looking at his watch, he noted the time.

"Andrés, how many times do I have to tell you? You know perfectly well who I am." The mayor's voice rose as he blushed.

-But I have to ask everyone, it's my job.

From angry red, he had gone in a flash to incredulous blue, and from there to the white of defeat. Don Antonio couldn't stand that kid.

"I'm Don Antonio, the mayor. Write that down."

"Don't worry, Don Antonio, I just have to put an X. I already wrote down your name and position when I saw you arrive."

Once again, red flushed across the mayor's face, and with a flick of his heel, he turned on his heel and went to his office. Distressed and unable to concentrate, he couldn't stop thinking about Andresín. He seemed foolish and gave the impression that he was pulling everyone's leg. If only he hadn't been so well aware of Andresín's low intelligence… though just thinking about it frightened him.

After an hour, staring blankly ahead, the round face of that glutton still fresh in her mind, she decided to clear her head by going for a coffee. When she reached the door, there he was. Wearing that suit that was too small for him and that white shirt with faded collars, the button that hung down to his stomach undone. "Poor button," she thought, "it's not going to be undone," and a hint of a smile flickered across her face. A smile that vanished when she heard that boisterous voice asking her:

-Hey Don Antonio, shall we have breakfast?

"Shall we go?" he asked, sounding somewhat fearful.

"Ha, ha, ha," he let out a boisterous laugh. "It's just a figure of speech, Don Antonio. I have breakfast at home. My mother won't let me come to work without having filled my stomach because she says that going back and forth takes up too much time, and I'm paid to work.".

That kid never ceased to amaze him. With his boundless foolishness, he might even be able to run the town hall well. So, avoiding continuing the conversation, he said goodbye.

That morning, perhaps because of the words he had spoken with Andresín, he hurried back to his office and in just under twenty minutes he was back.

-Don Antonio, name and position –

"You're going to bury me, Andresín." Don Antonio, I'm the mayor, and glancing sideways at the sky, he sighed and continued walking.

-By the way, Don Antonio, I wanted to make you a proposal, if you have the time-

Almost trembling, wondering what had occurred to her now, she turned to him. "Tell me, Andrés, tell me—"

"You see, in all the time I've been working as a substitute, no one has missed their daily shift. I've only taken attendance at the entrance, and that's it. I think I should also substitute for the staff when they go to breakfast, because their work is going undone."

"That's the last thing I expected to hear this morning. That brilliant mind of yours is always spouting nonsense. Don't you see they're enjoying their break during breakfast? That's the law. They don't need to be replaced. Absolutely not!"

-Don Antonio, I'm not referring to that breakfast. I'm referring to the other breakfasts.

"Let's see," the mayor interrupted, "make up your mind, because I don't know what you're getting at. What's this about the rest of the breakfasts?"

"You see, Don Antonio, since everyone here thinks Andresín is simple, every time they leave the house they tell me they're going to have breakfast. Even if it's one in the afternoon and they've already left. I, who am simple but not stupid, mark them off every time they're absent, and some days my notebook looks more like a graveyard than a notebook for taking notes."

"Let's see, bring it here." Don Antonio, somewhat intrigued, thought the boy might be exaggerating, but knowing how tiresome it could be, since he suffered it himself every time he came in or out, he decided to take a look just in case. "Good heavens! You're not making this up, are you?"

"You see, Don Antonio, the thing is, since you're locked away in your office, you don't know anything. Just yesterday, like every day, Doña Marina went out around half past twelve to walk her husband's Doberman."

-You're wrong, Andrés, my secretary doesn't have a dog.

"No, if the Doberman is her husband, hasn't she seen his face?"

-Andrés, don't be rude!

"If it's not offensive, I'm Andresín the simpleton, and he's José Manuel the Doberman. And as I was saying, when he finishes his shift at the candle factory, she sneaks off to go have vermouth at the bar in the plaza."

The mayor began to connect the dots while shaking his head, his gaze fixed on the notebook.

“Or Don Agustín, the comptroller,” Andresín continued, “who has breakfast three times a day. The first time is at ten, which is his scheduled time. Between eleven and eleven-thirty, he has breakfast again, but in reality, he goes for a walk with his wife, who apparently both have high cholesterol. And then, around one, he goes out for breakfast again. He goes with Don Jacinto, the pharmacist, and a couple of pensioners to the Four Winds tavern. There they play a game of dominoes while he downs a couple of glasses of fino sherry with a plate of chorizo, which is very good for his cholesterol.”

"Is what you're telling me true? And if you're here, how do you know all this gossip? Do you skip work too?" the mayor asked.

“But Don Antonio, do you really think they started doing this the day I began working here? They’ve been doing it forever, and everyone in town knows it. Except you, of course,” he said, managing a half-smile. “But the worst of it is Fridays, like today, at 2:15, when the town hall is deserted and all the maintenance, census, and electricians call it a day and start their weekend at Lucas’s bar, right across the street from the town hall. What’s more, Lucas already has the beers ready at that hour so they don’t waste any time and each of them drinks at least four. They don’t go back into the town hall until 2:50, just so you can see them. That’s why I say you should replace them while they’re having breakfast.”

"You're not moving from the door," Don Antonio snapped. "You're the only one I need replacing these clever clogs to bring the town hall down. I just can't understand how this place works after what you've told me. But listen, their nonsense is going to end today.".

That day, the mayor sat by the window of his office and through a crack in the curtains, he could see how, a little before three in the afternoon, a group of officials from the town hall that he presided over entered the town hall to leave with the rest of the workers.

Little by little, he watched everyone leave, including Andresín, who, his flesh shriveled, brought up the rear, devouring a bag of chips. "Of course, the poor thing hasn't eaten since eight o'clock, and he's such a glutton," he thought. "Just imagine, being simpler than a pacifier, he's going to make everyone in this house punctual and do their duty. I mean, I should hire him as a secretary."

At that moment, Andresín stopped abruptly, turned his head, directing his gaze towards Don Antonio's window and, as if he knew or sensed that he was being watched, winked at him.

Don Antonio paled. "Doesn't this guy have any powers?"

We hope you enjoyed it the adventures of Andresín, More to come soon.

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