Welcome! Explore Natura is back today with another of Andresín's adventures. This is one of the many stories we've published for you to enjoy at home during these days of confinement. So enjoy this entertaining read!.
The wedding
Her smile alternated with the occasional tear of emotion that threatened to make her mascara run.
The groom, standing at the church door, his eyes red from a mix of nerves and joy, tried to manage the nosebleeds with the handkerchief his godmother had given him. After all, there's no mother likes…
In the arcades of the plaza, peeking out from behind a column, was Andresín's fat head. Although he wasn't invited to the wedding, he had dressed to blend in and sneak into the banquet. He was covered in patchouli, wearing a white shirt, waistcoat, and a suit jacket that looked nearly bursting at the seams.
From his hiding place, he studied the guests to see which group he could join, because... he was definitely going to the wedding for the meal. He just had to make sure he didn't run into the bride and groom, and that was it.
Undoubtedly, it wasn't the first time Andresín had snuck into a wedding disguised among the guests to get completely wasted.
After the ceremony, where a few tears were shed by the bride and groom, godparents and family, everyone went to the restaurant where the "espesa" (which is what they called the dinner in San Marcos) would take place.
A few minutes before Don Zacarías gave them his blessing and sent them off, Andresín had already made his way to the restaurant and, positioned behind a hedge, waited for the diners to arrive. He would blend seamlessly into the commotion.
The boy flitted about like a bee, but instead of going from flower to flower, he went from plate to plate. Salami, croquettes, cheese so good it made your mouth water, fried cod, and little prawns that fell onto a pineapple, buried in pink sauce.
–Damn, man! The amount of peeling prawns the cooks must have done for so many people! –he thought, his cheeks not giving a moment's rest.
Masterfully placed, there was no tray that came out of the kitchen that didn't bump into that red and smiling face.
"Yes, I do!" was his favorite wedding phrase, though with a more convenient meaning for him. And he quickly grabbed a small plate in each hand, like a crab.
On three occasions she almost ran into her boyfriend, having to disguise herself by turning around, tying her shoes, which, by the way, had no laces, or covering half her face by inventing a very strong coughing fit.
Finally, the most anticipated moment arrived. A waiter approached them: "Please, go into the dining room.".
Now came a difficult moment. He had to lie in wait for a table with an opening, and to do that, he had to be one of the last to enter, just before the waiter cleared away the leftover cutlery.
Suddenly, heavenly music to their ears. A small group was approaching, talking about someone who hadn't been able to attend.
Last-minute problems that greatly benefited him.
–So why do you say Danielón isn't coming? –asked one of the guests with a characteristic Cordoban accent.
So, without hesitation, he joined the group and took a seat with complete ease. Now, let's see what menu the bride and groom had chosen. From what he'd overheard about the cheese and pork loin, they were saying it would be good because the bride didn't like just anything.
So, rubbing her hands together, she fastened the napkin around her neck with a smile like something out of a toothpaste commercial.
His tablemates were so taken aback by the makeshift bib that the boy discreetly pulled it down to his knees.
"Well, what a small table I've been given," he thought.
Unbeknownst to him, he had sat down at a smaller table, sharing cutlery with a bullfighter friend of the bride and groom and his team. Opposite him sat Don Luis “Niño del Espejo” and his sword handler, Joseillo de la Marisma. To the left was a skilled banderillero, Santiago del Daimieleño, and at the far end of the table was Antón, the Gypsy of La Cabrera. So there was Andresín, taking the place of a banderillero, Danielón de Azuaga.
"It's a good thing I went to the bullfights one day with Don Antonio and Don Rafael. Otherwise, what would I have to talk about at this table of snobs?" he thought. So, breaking the ice a bit and trying to join the group's conversation, he made his first move.
"Did you know that bulls with 'bragados' don't wear panties? It's because of the color of their hair." And he flashed another smile as he waited for the group of bullfighters to appreciate his knowledge of bullfighting.
If the diners' faces turned into poems with the bib, with the comment, Joseillo's olive came out of his mouth and landed in the glass of wine that the man from Daimiel was holding.
"Wow! They weren't expecting that," the boy said proudly.
Encouraged by his triumphant comment, which had left the Fifth Caliph speechless, as the boy heard them calling Don
Luis picked up the sheet with the menu and savored the taste of his own saliva.
"Great Iberian ham starters! Just what I ordered!" he said in a low voice, with the rest of the table nodding in agreement.
"Seafood pie... Seafood pie? Pie? Hey," he said, nudging the guy from Cabrera who almost spilled his beer on himself, "These guys must have gotten confused, right? How can they serve dessert before the meal? Besides, who's ever seen a fish dessert?"
If Joseillo had let the olive escape from his mouth, this guy had a stream of beer coming out of his nose.
"Excuse me, kid, at this table, you have to give a warning before telling a joke or saying something stupid. You can lose your reputation for less," he said, patting him on the back.
"Okay, but they must have made a mistake, right?" the boy asked again.
"Just enjoy the ham they've given you and don't rush. If it's dessert... what does your stomach know? Eat it and that's it," replied the bullfighter, ending the pointless conversation.
–Guinea pigeon stuffed with foie gras and raisins. But… what kind of food is this for a wedding? Ham, fish dessert, and a drawing made with food.
Andresín's face showed such despair that even the Caliph felt sorry for him.
–Kid, don't worry, if we get hungry, we'll just go to a roadside inn nearby, the one selling
La Galga, and we devoured some chorizo sausages and a piece of pork loin in lard.
The young man's face lit up. At that moment, there was no one better in the world than Don Luis the bullfighter.
"But you're paying, because I never carry any money. Well, what my mother gives me in the morning, but I spend it all on churros in a flash.".
–Everything in churros? –asked the man from Daimiel.
"Everything, and they give me a cup of hot chocolate," she replied with the smile she wore when she ate food.
–But… how much does your mother give you?
–One thousand pesetas –he said, showing all his teeth again, including his molars.
Then a hand fell on his shoulder and a familiar voice made him stutter slightly as he answered. –Ho ho ho hello Don Antonio.
"Don't get up, kid," the mayor said, pressing on his shoulder to stop him. "You didn't tell me you were invited to the wedding.".
"Neither do you love my Don Antonio," he replied, his face slowly returning from pale to its usual red.
–Okay, afterwards we'll take a picture with the bride and groom all together. You and I as City Hall employees, the Judge and his secretary, Mari and Don Manuel, the Civil Guard sergeant.
When Andresín heard the mention of the forces of order, he turned pale again, but somehow, he found the strength to lash out at the mayor, something he loved so much.
–Oh, Don Antonio, at the table with Mari. You're drooling over that girl, and if your wife finds out… you'll be sleeping with the dog. Ha ha ha.
The mayor raised his head, adopting a dignified expression, and said: "I'll call you in a little while, when the bride and groom visit our table." Turning halfway around on his heels, he went to his table.
"I've just been with Andresín for two minutes and I'm already a nervous wreck. I can't stand that kid. I told him we'd take a picture with the bride and groom, and the jerk goes and tells me I'm..." He was so indignant he almost put his foot in it in front of everyone. "Oh well, one of his silly things.".
"Fill the glass and you'll see how calm you get," the judge told him.
"Oh dear! That boy is so charming. Don Antonio is surely exaggerating," Mari remarked.
"That's true," said the mayor, looking foolishly at the pretty secretary.
"Damn right!" his wife said, nudging him in the kidneys so hard he coughed. "You don't always say he's a jerk..."
–Excuse me, I meant to say that it's not true. Fill your glass, Don Nicanor.
Don Antonio's wife gave him a look like a bulldog that almost devoured him in bites, but not the passionate kind, the kind that would tear him to pieces.
From his table, Andresín didn't miss a single detail of Don Antonio's. Almost the best guests at the wedding were gathered there, of course, without meaning any disrespect to the bride and groom, Josemari and Adela, who looked absolutely stunning. The mayor was impeccably dressed in his grey-patterned suit, his shoes shining brighter than a hawk's wings. The judge, Don Nicanor, being older than the river itself, was a bit out of sorts, his gray suit somewhat worn, and, because he was sitting down, his trousers weren't sagging.
Doña Pepa, Don Antonio's wife, carrying a few extra pounds around her waist, wore a beautiful bougainvillea-colored party dress. Don Manuel, the Civil Guard officer, was known as the man from Écija, and he couldn't have worn more medals pinned to his chest, awarded for his outstanding merits, which, out of modesty, he didn't usually display. And finally, there was Mari, with her wide-brimmed hat that almost completely obscured her face, and her elegant suit so stylish that every guest craned their neck to look at her, and almost got elbowed for doing so.
"Well, well. So we have a real bullfighter at the table," Don Luis laughed, staring intently at Andresín. "The boy crashed the wedding and they just caught him, didn't they?"
The whole group stared at the young man, waiting for a confession that they all knew was coming.
“Pu pu pu,” Andresín stammered.
"Come on, kid, spit it out, you can do it," the Caliph mocked. "We've all been amateur bullfighters before we were professional ones. You're fine at this table. Don't worry, today you'll pass for Danielón the Azuagueño and that's it. Does your boyfriend know you?"
"Not me," the boy said, embarrassed.
–And the girlfriend?
-Neither.
"Then eat in peace, you have nothing to worry about. You're one of us, and that's that. Except that you'll probably get a lot of girlfriends when they find out you're part of a bullfighting team.".
"Don't worry, Don Luis," the boy said, very excited. "All I care about is eating, not getting caught by boyfriends, and I don't care about women.".
Remember that Explora Natural will be publishing more than The Adventures of Andresín, So don't miss these interesting stories.
Antonio Pestana
Antonio Jesús Pestana Salido (Cabra, Córdoba, 1970) es ornitólogo y fotógrafo de naturaleza andaluz, especializado en aves y en la interpretación del paisaje mediterráneo. Desde niño ha estado vinculado al estudio y observación de la fauna, y lleva décadas recorriendo los espacios naturales de Andalucía, especialmente la Subbética cordobesa.
Es fotógrafo de naturaleza premiado a nivel nacional, ganador del primer premio del concurso de fotografía de naturaleza Carl Zeiss (IV edición) con una imagen de digiscoping de piquituerto común, además de otros reconocimientos en concursos especializados de fotografía de aves.
Como ornitólogo de campo ha participado en proyectos de seguimiento y conservación de aves, especialmente rapaces y aves esteparias, y ha sido coordinador provincial en Córdoba de los censos de aguilucho pálido y aguilucho cenizo. También es presidente de la asociación naturalista Abanto, dedicada a la divulgación y conservación del patrimonio natural.
Es autor de varios libros sobre fauna ibérica y cultura popular publicados por editoriales especializadas, entre ellos “Las aves ibéricas en la cultura popular” y “Las rapaces diurnas ibéricas en la cultura popular”, obras que recopilan refranes, creencias y tradiciones relacionadas con las aves en la cultura popular.
Además de su trabajo como autor y fotógrafo, desarrolla actividades de divulgación y educación ambiental, guiando salidas de naturaleza, impartiendo talleres de fotografía de aves y colaborando con centros educativos, asociaciones y proyectos de turismo de naturaleza.
She regularly works with schools, designing wildlife observation activities adapted for primary and secondary school students. She also collaborates with companies and associations on birdwatching tours, teaches nature photography courses, and participates in the design of natural areas.
