Hello and welcome back to Explora Natura, which today brings you a new and fun adventure with the quirky Andresín. Enjoy it with your family.

Farts

As soon as daylight streamed through the kitchen window, Tomasa was already entangled among the pots and pans. On the stove, the coffee pot whistled and smoked like an old coal train. A pleasant aroma of coffee and toast baked over the embers of the brazier already filled almost the entire house.

Cloth in hand, she was very, very clean; she had the kitchen spotless in no time.

Meanwhile, her Andresín frolicked in bed, making the most of his time. Covered with a thick wool blanket up to his head, he fought off the morning chill from inside the cot.

His bedroom was austere. Besides the bed, there was a hanger where he hung the clothes from the previous day, which were also the clothes for the next. A crucifix he had made from clothespins hung on the main wall, and on a small table sat a glass of water with the crumbs of a cookie that never saw the light of day.

–Andrés! It's nine in the morning! Get up, your breakfast is already on the table.

–But mother, today is Sunday.

"No Sunday, no Saint Sunday! Stop lazing around, you're going to get as big as a barrel from not moving. Well, you already are, you'll get as big as all the barrels. Come on! Let's have breakfast!"

With his eyes glued shut, he lifted his broad body, stumbling over the only two things that could possibly get in his way: the small table and the coat rack. A quick cat wash, and he went downstairs to the kitchen.

–Good morning, Mother. Oh my, you have such a habit of getting up early. The bed was so soft just now.

"Shut up and eat," Tomasa grumbled. "You should exercise, you're getting..." Suddenly, Tomasa's face changed. Her eyes widened almost to the point of collapse; she dropped the plate she was washing and turned to her child.

-Andrew!

"Mom!" the boy replied without taking his eyes off his slice of toast.

–Andrés, I'm telling you!

–Mom! What's wrong?

–What do you mean, what's wrong? That's enough, it's too early!

Silence fell, and they both continued with what they were doing. Barely a minute later, Tomasa twirled on her heels.

-Andrew!

–But what's wrong, Mom? Aren't you going to let me have breakfast in peace today?

Don't play dumb with me, okay!

–But what's gotten into you this morning?

–Andrés! What does it smell like?

"Umm," the boy hesitated. "Daffodils? I don't know. Why do you say that, Mother?"

Stop messing with me, okay! And don't relax so much.

A sly half-smile began to spread across the young man's face. He loved teasing his mother. He loved her very, very much, but she was so funny when she was angry…

Back to work, Tomasa was working hard trying to make the little saucepan where the milk was boiling, which had burned the night before due to a slight lapse in attention, look as good as gold.

Again, she stopped abruptly, turned around, and red with anger, in two strides she was in front of her Andresín.

"Well, what kind of upbringing have we given you? You're doing this on purpose, and I swear I'm going to take off my shoe and smash it right into that ass of yours. I mean, I'm going to shove them all back in.".

The half-smile had now turned into a loud laugh.

–Andrés, son, breathe, you're turning bright red. It's because the topic is feeding you!

–But mother, it's not my fault.

–No, I'll have her on top of me. What a shameless, filthy bastard.

–You prepare such delicious meals: beans, lentils, chickpeas, stewed potatoes, cabbage… and only one thing can happen.

–See, now it's my fault. You wolf down two plates before bed, and that's not dinner! You brute, you're more than a brute!

"Mother, don't get upset. They're just little angel farts," said Andresín as tears of laughter streamed down his face.

"An angel's?" Tomasa asked, scandalized. "They're more like ogre's. No wonder you can't find a girlfriend. Between the type of bull you have and your quirks..."

–Oh, there goes the topic of girlfriends. I don't have a girlfriend because they don't want one and I don't let them, otherwise…

–You don't have a girlfriend because you're too lazy, and all that singing you do every morning would scare them all away, don't you realize?

"Well, Mom, you're probably right. I won't do it again," he said, crossing even his toes. "I'm going to finish my breakfast and then head to the square to see if there's a girl who wants me as a boyfriend, okay?"

"Yes, of course. Go on, go on," replied the lady, returning to her struggle with the small saucepan and shaking her head from side to side.

With the last bite, he gathered up the plate, the toast crumbs, the oil cruet, and the glass. He piled them all up next to his mother, on the sink. He kissed her and, squeezing her cheek, said in a low voice, his eyes half-closed, "Oh ohhhh.".

–Andrés! Andrés! Don't you dare come here to eat today or I'll smash my sandal on your ass. Pig!

Andresín, red-faced as a tomato, ran down the street, laughter pouring from his mouth. The neighbors who passed him greeted him with broad smiles.

–Goodbye Andresín, it's nice to start the day like this, in a good mood.

Explora Natura has more of these entertaining adventures for you; so don't miss the upcoming posts at exploranatura.es/

Antonio Pestana

Antonio Jesús Pestana Salido (Cabra, Córdoba, 1970) es ornitólogo y fotógrafo de naturaleza andaluz, especializado en aves y en la interpretación del paisaje mediterráneo. Desde niño ha estado vinculado al estudio y observación de la fauna, y lleva décadas recorriendo los espacios naturales de Andalucía, especialmente la Subbética cordobesa.

Es fotógrafo de naturaleza premiado a nivel nacional, ganador del primer premio del concurso de fotografía de naturaleza Carl Zeiss (IV edición) con una imagen de digiscoping de piquituerto común, además de otros reconocimientos en concursos especializados de fotografía de aves.

Como ornitólogo de campo ha participado en proyectos de seguimiento y conservación de aves, especialmente rapaces y aves esteparias, y ha sido coordinador provincial en Córdoba de los censos de aguilucho pálido y aguilucho cenizo. También es presidente de la asociación naturalista Abanto, dedicada a la divulgación y conservación del patrimonio natural.

Es autor de varios libros sobre fauna ibérica y cultura popular publicados por editoriales especializadas, entre ellos “Las aves ibéricas en la cultura popular” y “Las rapaces diurnas ibéricas en la cultura popular”, obras que recopilan refranes, creencias y tradiciones relacionadas con las aves en la cultura popular.

Además de su trabajo como autor y fotógrafo, desarrolla actividades de divulgación y educación ambiental, guiando salidas de naturaleza, impartiendo talleres de fotografía de aves y colaborando con centros educativos, asociaciones y proyectos de turismo de naturaleza.
She regularly works with schools, designing wildlife observation activities adapted for primary and secondary school students. She also collaborates with companies and associations on birdwatching tours, teaches nature photography courses, and participates in the design of natural areas.